Wednesday, July 6, 2011, Wednesday, July 06, 2011
They are a perfect picture of my perfectly imperfect couple
Friday, May 20, 2011, Friday, May 20, 2011
The irony of friends.....
As I was lying on my bed, the sudden thought about Friendship came to me. Few days back, a friend and I were talking about the whole Friendship thing and how it works.
To me, the only question that is in my mind at that point of time was:
"Is it wrong to feel envious of your own friends? The achievements they've made, the successes they've enjoyed?"
I don't deny I do feel a tinge of envy when I see my friends doing so well. But that's all I'll ever feel. Towards the end, I know they've worked hard to achieve what they did and got so far in the end. I am proud of them. I AM happy for them.
Sometimes, probably it's because of the way I speak, the way I express myself... that it gives out the wrong impressions to my very own bunch of friends. It's because of the way I speak, they feel that I'm bragging, I'm boasting, I'm 'showing off' or whatever. True to myself and all you people out there, that has never been my intention.
All I ever wanted was to share what I know, to share how I feel, to share my happiness, to share my progress, to share my success. But it was never to boast about whatever that I've accomplished. You may not believe me, but boasting or bragging has never been my strongest point.
If wanting to SHARE were wrong, then I don't know how else am I supposed to let out my happiness/joy/sadness etc.
what happened in between? what made all of this come in between us? I am happy for you. But why can't I sense the same thing from every single one of you?
as time goes by, one by one, I face different disappointments. I've tried to look at the brighter side of things. But it is not working. Tell me what else am I supposed to do? I thought just being the person you truly are is the best thing to do. But it isn't working for me. Why?
"Sometimes, I just feel that living without emotions would be the best for everyone. Then there would never be any hatred or misunderstandings between anyone. When that happens, then can we look forward to world peace."
Thursday, May 12, 2011, Thursday, May 12, 2011
I'm making this official..
I don't need hundreds of friends to make me happy...
cause I realised that by just having that ONE person who knows you inside out,
& just knows how to make you feel better, then that's all that I need...
you told me that I should be appreciative for having one who is true to you no matter what happens ...
right now, I'm officially appreciative for having you as someone i can describe to be like my "sister-from-another-mother" (:
When I thought I'd be lazing around at home with nothing & no one to hang out with this week,
there you are spending almost all of your time with me, doing almost nothing at all,
yet we don't feel any boredom too...
I really hope this lasts forever, and by forever, i LITERALLY mean come what may....
i'll pray to god everyday... (:
Friday, May 6, 2011, Friday, May 06, 2011
VROOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..................
Did you know? I had my first practical lesson today!! woooooo!!! It was kinda scary-plus-cool-plus-fun-plus-interesting (: i loved it... one problem though, I'm so tensed and scared of the stupid clutch (boohoo!!!) But I had a superbly nice instructor who will be teaching me for a few times!! phhhewwww!!! worth the extra cost i guess. right now, i'm still thinking of how to coordinate my gear, clutch, accelerator and break at the same time. I'm so bad at multi-tasking please. whatever it is, I can't wait for my next lesson (:
Oh, as much as I think this month is going to be fun for me, I'm in need of alot of 'funding' this month ): another boohoo!! Right now, I need money for:
(It's all about the money, money, money ..... )
More driving lessons (Though mum is sponsoring, the cash is coming in too slowwww!!!)
My holiday with her!!!! (& Mum is supposed to sponsor half of it)
My stupid spoilt iphone repairs!
Renewal of my overdued passport!!!
Handphone bills!
OMG! So you see how much money i will need to get everything I want? If this is the case, my hard-earned money for the month of April (under the freaking hot sun) will all be gone even before May ends!! sobs to the max, can???? Gosh, and to add to that, there's no event this month!! Means no income for me!!!! TSK TSK TSK!!! Money, how to make more money? Lols! I just need them to pay what i want listed above (: then i'll be contented. hehe!!
If i didn't need to chiong my driving, i would have gotten myself a proper FT job man. But nvrm, it will be paid of in at least 5 months time (: hehehe!!! Wish me luck people!!
"The mighty power of Him just makes me smile just now. When he wants something to happen, it will happen when you least expect it. Probably he knows that I'm ready for it, that's why he made it happen (:"
Monday, April 25, 2011, Monday, April 25, 2011
PLEASE TELL ME WHERE I WENT WRONG CAUSE I NEED 'ME' BACK ...
As much as everyone says that time will heal everything and make things easier, it does - but by a tiny bit. Sometimes i wish i could just fast forward to the future where I'm over this stage and starting anew with my life. I am accepting the facts as they are, but i just don't wish to go through these emotional shits currently.
Getting myself busy was the ideal idea said by all of my friends. But there are 24 hours a day and i can't definitely make myself busy 24/7. just give me a few minutes to myself, and there i go again. an emotional wreck.
as i thought i'd be fine, there'd be a day in the week where things start to go back the way it was. i'm trying, im trying my real hard. i don't know who i can turn to now. i realised everyone has their own sets of problems - so what makes myself any different.
there's one thing that is really tearing me apart on the inside. something that makes me question myself.
"the people i once held dear, the ones who were my pillar of support, joy and happiness, seems to be fading away from me. right now, i'm only left with the one and only friend i could ever count on." knowing this fact makes me feel like a failure in relationships/friendships.
you all may think that i'm being all emotional and stupid. but hey, this is where i express my inner thoughts and feelings. this is the only way for me to let out to the 'world' what i'm feeling on the inside. you can just live your life as it is and why bother reading all this shits in the first place.
Monday, April 18, 2011, Monday, April 18, 2011
J.U.S.T L.E.A.V.E M.E A.L.O.N.E
You know something, i guess right now i don't need anyone to start entering into
my life or bothering about what i'm thinking and how i'm doing.
just let it be. just let ME be. i've had enough of pretentious attitudes and having
to figure out what's real and what's not. what i need right now is honesty, sincerity and a true friend.
that's all i need. don't go anywhere near unless what you're doing is really because you care.
I've had enough of figuring everything out.